1 00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:07,000 Downloaded from YTS.BZ 2 00:00:08,000 --> 00:00:13,000 Official YIFY movies site: YTS.BZ 3 00:01:24,333 --> 00:01:25,916 I'm here for my eight o'clock. 4 00:01:27,750 --> 00:01:30,125 - Your first name? - Lenny. 5 00:01:33,000 --> 00:01:36,625 I know, doctor patient romance is forbidden, but 6 00:01:40,708 --> 00:01:45,291 what's the etiquette on patient cute receptionist? 7 00:01:49,708 --> 00:01:51,250 It's frowned upon. 8 00:02:00,416 --> 00:02:02,332 Up the stairs to the right. 9 00:02:39,583 --> 00:02:40,625 I don't know. 10 00:02:47,791 --> 00:02:48,916 Hey, you need a name tag! 11 00:02:57,333 --> 00:02:58,833 My demons are my own. 12 00:02:59,750 --> 00:03:02,250 My demons are my own. 13 00:03:21,750 --> 00:03:24,666 How long have you been seeing Dr. Hedonia? 14 00:03:27,666 --> 00:03:30,750 I've been seeing the doctor for about a year. 15 00:03:33,000 --> 00:03:34,041 First patient. 16 00:03:35,833 --> 00:03:36,916 For this uh... 17 00:03:39,083 --> 00:03:40,250 program that is. 18 00:03:41,541 --> 00:03:42,665 I just started. 19 00:03:42,666 --> 00:03:43,791 Alright. 20 00:03:45,541 --> 00:03:49,000 Is your incident recent? 21 00:03:50,458 --> 00:03:53,541 - Last fall. - Not even a scar. 22 00:03:55,833 --> 00:03:56,875 Still a wound. 23 00:04:01,833 --> 00:04:03,040 Paroxetine? 24 00:04:03,041 --> 00:04:04,749 Venlafaxine. 25 00:04:04,750 --> 00:04:07,500 You're on that first mountain. 26 00:04:09,041 --> 00:04:10,832 It's not the tallest, 27 00:04:10,833 --> 00:04:13,541 but it's the hardest one to conquer. 28 00:04:15,666 --> 00:04:18,458 Pills are a steady rope and harness, 29 00:04:20,791 --> 00:04:26,541 but being physical, that's some good hiking boots. 30 00:04:27,500 --> 00:04:28,541 Physical? 31 00:04:36,541 --> 00:04:41,250 You know, get into a fight. 32 00:04:43,000 --> 00:04:44,791 Even get your ass kicked. 33 00:04:47,625 --> 00:04:49,250 Maybe even a one night stand. 34 00:04:52,166 --> 00:04:55,791 I, I, I don't wanna fight. 35 00:04:56,958 --> 00:04:58,915 Then you definitely need to. 36 00:05:14,875 --> 00:05:16,583 At least I'm not the last. 37 00:05:28,458 --> 00:05:29,875 That's an interesting name. 38 00:05:34,750 --> 00:05:35,915 I'll take it as a compliment. 39 00:05:35,916 --> 00:05:37,624 Oh, please do. 40 00:05:37,625 --> 00:05:40,541 Dr. Hedonia says to make a new friend each day. 41 00:05:41,708 --> 00:05:43,000 Break the cycle. 42 00:05:44,625 --> 00:05:46,500 Maybe that's why we are here. 43 00:05:48,541 --> 00:05:50,041 To see how each of us does it. 44 00:05:51,041 --> 00:05:52,708 We're here because we're fucked up. 45 00:05:54,916 --> 00:05:56,124 What about you, ginger? 46 00:05:58,291 --> 00:05:59,999 Are you fucked up? 47 00:06:51,625 --> 00:06:53,166 I see we're short a shipmate. 48 00:06:57,166 --> 00:07:01,125 Unfortunately, this is the only room large enough for group. 49 00:07:04,833 --> 00:07:08,665 Let's start with a present centered exercise 50 00:07:08,666 --> 00:07:11,624 and make use of the tardiness. 51 00:07:11,625 --> 00:07:14,500 Has anyone experienced turmoil lately? 52 00:07:18,583 --> 00:07:20,166 Don't look at me, Doc. 53 00:07:22,791 --> 00:07:23,833 Dev? 54 00:07:25,583 --> 00:07:28,624 I've experienced frustration. 55 00:07:28,625 --> 00:07:31,082 What caused the frustration? 56 00:07:31,083 --> 00:07:32,832 I was being ignored. 57 00:07:32,833 --> 00:07:35,749 And what was your core emotion? 58 00:07:35,750 --> 00:07:36,875 Anger. 59 00:07:38,125 --> 00:07:41,207 What was the reason for your anger? 60 00:07:41,208 --> 00:07:42,915 Because I was ignored. 61 00:07:42,916 --> 00:07:45,208 I was at the bar and this guy was ignoring me. 62 00:07:47,000 --> 00:07:48,500 What triggered you? 63 00:07:53,666 --> 00:07:57,624 - I felt marginalized. - Unworthy? 64 00:07:57,625 --> 00:07:59,165 Alone. 65 00:07:59,166 --> 00:08:02,665 I feel alone a lot now. 66 00:08:02,666 --> 00:08:04,790 That's why I went to the bar in the first place. 67 00:08:04,791 --> 00:08:08,708 Good. And what was your action? 68 00:08:12,083 --> 00:08:14,166 I, I smashed a beer bottle over their head. 69 00:08:16,041 --> 00:08:20,583 Okay. An overcompensation for a feeling of inadequacy. 70 00:08:21,666 --> 00:08:23,040 I, I didn't want to hurt him. 71 00:08:23,041 --> 00:08:25,208 He, he, he just, he just wasn't listening. 72 00:08:28,291 --> 00:08:30,500 Close your eyes, Dev. 73 00:08:32,250 --> 00:08:33,291 Take a breath. 74 00:08:50,458 --> 00:08:55,374 Now, imagine a wooden table in front of you. 75 00:08:55,375 --> 00:08:59,249 On this table are four mallets. 76 00:08:59,250 --> 00:09:00,875 Mallets of all different sizes. 77 00:09:02,416 --> 00:09:07,165 On the far right is a massive circus mallet. 78 00:09:07,166 --> 00:09:10,124 One that you would use to swing in an attempt 79 00:09:10,125 --> 00:09:15,374 to hit a ball and win a comedically large prize. 80 00:09:15,375 --> 00:09:19,707 The mallets lay in ascending order. On the left 81 00:09:19,708 --> 00:09:23,707 is a tiny mallet built for a mouse. 82 00:09:23,708 --> 00:09:26,666 Pick each up and feel its weight. 83 00:09:35,375 --> 00:09:39,625 Select the mallet that you chose to solve this situation. 84 00:09:44,416 --> 00:09:45,875 Do you have it in your hand, Dev? 85 00:09:47,125 --> 00:09:48,875 Yes. It feels good. 86 00:09:50,750 --> 00:09:54,083 This mallet is too heavy, but it's not the first time. 87 00:09:55,875 --> 00:09:57,125 Keep the mallet up, Dev. 88 00:10:00,833 --> 00:10:04,000 Remember the smashed bottle over their head. 89 00:10:05,500 --> 00:10:07,375 Repeat this memory in your mind. 90 00:10:09,375 --> 00:10:12,790 The swinging of the bottle, the shattering sound 91 00:10:12,791 --> 00:10:15,457 of the glass and the spilling of the blood. 92 00:10:15,458 --> 00:10:18,707 The swinging of the bottle, the shattering sound 93 00:10:18,708 --> 00:10:21,374 of the glass and the spilling of the blood. 94 00:10:21,375 --> 00:10:24,040 The swinging of the bottle, the shattering sound 95 00:10:24,041 --> 00:10:26,374 of the glass and the spilling of the blood. 96 00:10:26,375 --> 00:10:29,707 The swinging of the bottle, the shattering sound of glass 97 00:10:29,708 --> 00:10:31,082 and the spilling of the blood. 98 00:10:31,083 --> 00:10:32,832 It's heavy. 99 00:10:32,833 --> 00:10:36,082 If it's heavy why did you use such a large mallet? 100 00:10:36,083 --> 00:10:38,082 I was scared. 101 00:10:38,083 --> 00:10:41,999 You were scared. Is it okay to be scared Dev? 102 00:10:42,000 --> 00:10:44,749 It's okay to be scared. 103 00:10:44,750 --> 00:10:47,290 You don't have to carry this weight. 104 00:10:47,291 --> 00:10:50,332 This is not the mallet you should use. 105 00:10:50,333 --> 00:10:54,165 You reacted via past experiences, 106 00:10:54,166 --> 00:10:57,165 not in the present moment in the bar. 107 00:10:57,166 --> 00:10:59,750 That's trauma. 108 00:11:02,375 --> 00:11:03,916 Pick a smaller mallet. 109 00:11:05,958 --> 00:11:08,957 Really feel its weight in your hand. 110 00:11:08,958 --> 00:11:10,750 Isn't it still powerful? 111 00:11:14,333 --> 00:11:18,000 Could you use that mallet to solve problems? 112 00:11:23,250 --> 00:11:25,041 Open your eyes, Dev. 113 00:11:28,958 --> 00:11:30,000 Hmm. 114 00:11:33,125 --> 00:11:34,250 Welcome Oday. 115 00:11:48,000 --> 00:11:49,041 We are all here. 116 00:11:51,208 --> 00:11:54,957 And now that we're here, we can help each other. 117 00:11:54,958 --> 00:11:58,249 You have the right to feel anxious. 118 00:11:58,250 --> 00:12:01,999 Sharing in a group setting isn't easy. 119 00:12:02,000 --> 00:12:04,874 It's vulnerable, 120 00:12:04,875 --> 00:12:08,874 but you'll have to take the leap of trust 121 00:12:08,875 --> 00:12:12,874 with each other just as you learned to trust me 122 00:12:12,875 --> 00:12:15,957 during our one-on-one sessions. 123 00:12:15,958 --> 00:12:19,040 Because you are all bound by the limits 124 00:12:19,041 --> 00:12:20,875 of legal confidentiality. 125 00:12:25,666 --> 00:12:29,333 How are we sleeping? Are we well rested today? 126 00:12:32,041 --> 00:12:33,875 I wouldn't call it sleeping. 127 00:12:36,333 --> 00:12:39,165 A lot of nightmares. 128 00:12:39,166 --> 00:12:42,375 Be vigilant in your sleep plans and goals. 129 00:12:43,541 --> 00:12:46,333 Sleep deprivation is detrimental 130 00:12:47,958 --> 00:12:50,249 to your self care. 131 00:12:50,250 --> 00:12:56,290 Self care is how you regrasp the reins of your minds. 132 00:12:56,291 --> 00:12:58,582 I'm following the plans and sleeping better. 133 00:12:58,583 --> 00:13:00,166 Thank you, Dev. 134 00:13:01,333 --> 00:13:03,957 A few rules before we start. 135 00:13:03,958 --> 00:13:07,582 Rule number one, stay in your seat. 136 00:13:07,583 --> 00:13:11,874 Group therapy can be challenging, 137 00:13:11,875 --> 00:13:15,165 which leads to rule number two. 138 00:13:15,166 --> 00:13:18,415 No touching, be it combative or comforting. 139 00:13:18,416 --> 00:13:21,040 There will be time for that. 140 00:13:21,041 --> 00:13:25,624 Here we use our words to express our emotions. 141 00:13:25,625 --> 00:13:29,582 Rule three, group therapy functions as a family unit, 142 00:13:29,583 --> 00:13:32,582 sharing and listening. 143 00:13:32,583 --> 00:13:36,457 Rule four, do not communicate 144 00:13:36,458 --> 00:13:38,624 outside of group. 145 00:13:38,625 --> 00:13:41,415 The work needs to be done here. 146 00:13:41,416 --> 00:13:45,499 Rule five, anonymity. First names only. 147 00:13:45,500 --> 00:13:48,207 Protecting identities is important, 148 00:13:48,208 --> 00:13:51,207 especially for this group. 149 00:13:51,208 --> 00:13:57,207 Final rule, which you all know, cell phones. 150 00:13:57,208 --> 00:14:01,499 Put them in the basket. And put them on silent. 151 00:14:01,500 --> 00:14:05,374 No interruptions. We are here to work. 152 00:14:10,541 --> 00:14:14,916 It's okay. When you're ready. 153 00:14:25,416 --> 00:14:27,125 What? I don't have a phone. 154 00:14:30,083 --> 00:14:34,000 - Everybody has a phone. - I don't. 155 00:14:36,541 --> 00:14:38,916 Lenny doesn't do well with possessions. 156 00:14:43,791 --> 00:14:45,625 October, do you trust me? 157 00:14:49,666 --> 00:14:50,708 I do. 158 00:14:58,458 --> 00:14:59,500 Oday? 159 00:15:00,291 --> 00:15:01,333 Yes. 160 00:15:05,333 --> 00:15:08,749 If I trust everyone in this room, 161 00:15:08,750 --> 00:15:13,332 can we momentarily extend our faith to each other? 162 00:15:13,333 --> 00:15:15,208 I don't wanna be afraid anymore. 163 00:15:17,750 --> 00:15:20,958 Who wants to share first? 164 00:15:26,583 --> 00:15:29,499 Ginger hadn't said shit since she came in. 165 00:15:29,500 --> 00:15:30,666 Maybe she should go first. 166 00:15:36,333 --> 00:15:37,958 I am not going first. 167 00:15:40,333 --> 00:15:43,624 Trauma is emotional, 168 00:15:43,625 --> 00:15:48,291 but for some it is also physical causing limitation. 169 00:15:50,583 --> 00:15:54,708 I guess that makes me the asshole of the group. Fine. 170 00:15:57,791 --> 00:16:02,083 I'll go first. Where do I start? 171 00:16:05,333 --> 00:16:07,541 Why don't you start with who you were before? 172 00:16:10,291 --> 00:16:11,333 Alright. 173 00:16:17,541 --> 00:16:18,583 I worked in an office. 174 00:16:21,666 --> 00:16:27,665 I was living the American dream, well 175 00:16:27,666 --> 00:16:32,415 pursuing it at least. I wanted to get a 176 00:16:32,416 --> 00:16:36,250 piece of that pie, a house. 177 00:16:38,250 --> 00:16:41,791 It was mine. And no matter what happened, 178 00:16:42,750 --> 00:16:44,832 that was my slice. 179 00:16:44,833 --> 00:16:47,500 That was my dream. 180 00:16:51,166 --> 00:16:55,457 And inside was a vault of all the possessions that defined 181 00:16:55,458 --> 00:16:57,083 who I was. 182 00:16:58,583 --> 00:17:02,166 From the wallpaper to the furniture, 183 00:17:04,541 --> 00:17:06,208 to the paintings. 184 00:17:09,291 --> 00:17:11,415 It was a collection of household erotica 185 00:17:11,416 --> 00:17:14,291 that set me into a state of copacetic bliss. 186 00:17:16,333 --> 00:17:17,791 A bubble of comfort that, 187 00:17:21,666 --> 00:17:24,499 fed a thought, that I could 188 00:17:24,500 --> 00:17:26,541 and did control my world. 189 00:17:29,916 --> 00:17:30,958 I was lie. 190 00:17:34,375 --> 00:17:39,125 I'd always come home at the same time each night. 191 00:17:42,625 --> 00:17:43,750 But that night, 192 00:17:48,708 --> 00:17:50,250 it was the last night 193 00:17:53,750 --> 00:17:57,166 and my heart sank. 194 00:17:59,583 --> 00:18:00,666 As I stood there 195 00:18:01,916 --> 00:18:05,790 and watched my house burn. 196 00:18:05,791 --> 00:18:10,208 The flames overwhelmed everything I ever known. 197 00:18:11,791 --> 00:18:14,290 The sense of loss 198 00:18:14,291 --> 00:18:17,374 and pain that should have spread through every fiber 199 00:18:17,375 --> 00:18:20,708 of my muscles, dissipated like a fog. 200 00:18:22,500 --> 00:18:25,415 into the heat fueled by burning possessions 201 00:18:25,416 --> 00:18:27,250 that scorched my face. 202 00:18:29,041 --> 00:18:33,250 Then beyond the night's breach, the fire 203 00:18:34,416 --> 00:18:35,500 danced in my eyes 204 00:18:36,791 --> 00:18:40,790 and the man was liberated. 205 00:18:44,041 --> 00:18:47,415 Emancipated by the weight of my life. 206 00:18:47,416 --> 00:18:50,290 I saw the crumbling concrete walls 207 00:18:50,291 --> 00:18:53,624 and the false securities I had built. 208 00:18:53,625 --> 00:18:58,540 And to further perplex these taunting thoughts. 209 00:18:58,541 --> 00:19:03,375 I saw a ghostly image drifting through the fire. 210 00:19:05,583 --> 00:19:08,208 He was a haunted mirrored version. 211 00:19:09,416 --> 00:19:11,500 Staring back, defiant. 212 00:19:12,875 --> 00:19:14,541 Screaming without words, 213 00:19:16,875 --> 00:19:20,250 "You are free". 214 00:19:22,833 --> 00:19:27,374 And as he faded away with the dying flames, I began 215 00:19:27,375 --> 00:19:29,915 to know this man 216 00:19:29,916 --> 00:19:33,916 unrealized, living inside me. 217 00:19:36,041 --> 00:19:40,250 I let him stride to the front of my mind 218 00:19:42,041 --> 00:19:44,708 and welcomed him to breathe, 219 00:19:45,916 --> 00:19:49,375 heavy in suspiration. 220 00:19:54,833 --> 00:19:57,665 That's fucking bullshit. 221 00:19:57,666 --> 00:19:59,374 Yeah, it's traumatic, but it's not trauma. 222 00:19:59,375 --> 00:20:00,707 You didn't get burned. 223 00:20:00,708 --> 00:20:02,415 You just lost stuff in an accident. 224 00:20:02,416 --> 00:20:03,999 That's what insurance is for. 225 00:20:04,000 --> 00:20:08,999 An accelerant was used on a timing device to ignite 226 00:20:09,000 --> 00:20:10,915 moments before I got home. 227 00:20:10,916 --> 00:20:13,582 Someone planned that. 228 00:20:13,583 --> 00:20:16,624 They knew my house meant everything to me. 229 00:20:16,625 --> 00:20:19,915 The problem isn't that, I lost my house. 230 00:20:19,916 --> 00:20:21,208 [♪Music Playing ♪÷} 231 00:20:22,916 --> 00:20:25,750 Or that someone had an unknown vendetta against me. 232 00:20:32,000 --> 00:20:33,750 I watched my house burn 233 00:20:35,583 --> 00:20:39,916 and I began to love the fire, the destruction. 234 00:20:51,666 --> 00:20:53,916 - That's fucked - Oday. 235 00:20:55,708 --> 00:20:57,875 Well, he's right Doctor. 236 00:20:59,541 --> 00:21:01,457 It's a fine initial reaction, 237 00:21:01,458 --> 00:21:04,415 but I'll ask you to elaborate, Oday. 238 00:21:04,416 --> 00:21:06,374 Don't stop. 239 00:21:06,375 --> 00:21:08,957 Tell Lenny what you really think. 240 00:21:08,958 --> 00:21:10,083 [♪Music Playing ♪÷} 241 00:21:11,791 --> 00:21:15,500 Well listen, you embraced it. That's fucked. 242 00:21:17,541 --> 00:21:21,374 But better land on a new side than 243 00:21:21,375 --> 00:21:24,332 to be a forever rolling die. 244 00:21:24,333 --> 00:21:26,375 I'll watch anything, burn. 245 00:21:27,750 --> 00:21:28,791 Accidents happen. 246 00:21:30,583 --> 00:21:33,291 People been hurt because of my addiction. 247 00:21:34,166 --> 00:21:35,416 So I fight it. 248 00:21:37,791 --> 00:21:41,291 It is every day, every hour. 249 00:21:43,208 --> 00:21:45,291 I get that struggle. 250 00:21:48,541 --> 00:21:50,000 Your secret's safe with me. 251 00:21:51,791 --> 00:21:56,500 Your secret's safe with me. That's a bond. 252 00:22:01,041 --> 00:22:07,165 Let's use October's words as a group affirmation. 253 00:22:07,166 --> 00:22:11,582 A little lame I know, but it builds trust. 254 00:22:11,583 --> 00:22:15,665 1, 2, 3. 255 00:22:15,666 --> 00:22:17,958 Your secret's safe with me. 256 00:22:24,541 --> 00:22:28,875 Group therapy only works if everyone stays engaged. 257 00:22:39,750 --> 00:22:41,125 Your secret's safe with me. 258 00:22:47,000 --> 00:22:48,125 You should share next. 259 00:22:50,166 --> 00:22:52,749 Doc, I can go. I...I don't mind. 260 00:22:52,750 --> 00:22:56,582 It's important that we confront the doubt 261 00:22:56,583 --> 00:22:59,540 within the group as we move forward. 262 00:22:59,541 --> 00:23:02,416 Lenny, do you trust her? 263 00:23:04,083 --> 00:23:05,125 Not yet. 264 00:23:06,625 --> 00:23:09,665 She going to type her whole fucking story out? 265 00:23:51,125 --> 00:23:53,915 Would you care to share the note with the group, October? 266 00:23:53,916 --> 00:23:55,540 It says, "Fuck off twat". 267 00:23:58,916 --> 00:24:03,957 I am always going to support laughter in our group, 268 00:24:03,958 --> 00:24:08,208 but outward aggression is directing away from your pain. 269 00:24:09,875 --> 00:24:12,582 In the future, 270 00:24:12,583 --> 00:24:16,041 let's stay with the emotion and explore it together. 271 00:24:28,666 --> 00:24:31,541 The story I want to share is not my own. 272 00:24:36,708 --> 00:24:39,874 My account isn't as important. 273 00:24:39,875 --> 00:24:42,582 His story, his pain, that's 274 00:24:42,583 --> 00:24:44,541 where I find strength. 275 00:24:46,125 --> 00:24:50,625 His story, his pain. 276 00:24:56,666 --> 00:24:59,916 That's where I find strength. 277 00:25:07,000 --> 00:25:10,208 There in the damp, in the cold, 278 00:25:11,291 --> 00:25:13,791 as his blood dries 279 00:25:16,916 --> 00:25:19,541 another day of beating, 280 00:25:22,791 --> 00:25:24,958 mixed with the 281 00:25:27,958 --> 00:25:32,666 putrid smells of the underground. 282 00:25:39,291 --> 00:25:43,250 His spirit broken. 283 00:25:48,125 --> 00:25:52,124 She came again 284 00:25:52,125 --> 00:25:53,665 and again 285 00:25:53,666 --> 00:25:58,000 to each unknown 286 00:26:01,083 --> 00:26:05,250 passing day outside, to break him 287 00:26:10,166 --> 00:26:11,291 once more. 288 00:26:21,375 --> 00:26:24,041 It was her pleasure. 289 00:26:45,375 --> 00:26:50,249 Oh, no, no, no, no, 290 00:26:50,250 --> 00:26:52,666 no, no, no. 291 00:26:54,791 --> 00:26:56,124 Please. 292 00:27:02,125 --> 00:27:03,166 Please. Please. 293 00:27:04,916 --> 00:27:05,958 Please. 294 00:27:36,375 --> 00:27:39,083 No more, no more. 295 00:27:41,166 --> 00:27:42,208 Please. 296 00:27:51,000 --> 00:27:52,083 Pain is pleasure. 297 00:27:55,125 --> 00:27:57,083 Emotionally and physically. 298 00:28:55,458 --> 00:28:56,916 Do you hate me? 299 00:29:01,166 --> 00:29:02,875 I just want it to stop. 300 00:29:14,500 --> 00:29:16,083 My family died in a fire. 301 00:29:21,500 --> 00:29:22,958 I hear the screaming. 302 00:29:26,416 --> 00:29:28,125 I was cooked alive. 303 00:29:34,000 --> 00:29:35,499 Third degree burns head to toe, 304 00:29:35,500 --> 00:29:37,333 third degree burns beyond pain. 305 00:29:40,583 --> 00:29:42,250 Then nothing. 306 00:29:48,583 --> 00:29:52,415 Severe nerve damage, complete loss 307 00:29:52,416 --> 00:29:54,791 of skin sensitivity, 308 00:29:56,333 --> 00:29:58,540 complete loss of skin. 309 00:29:58,541 --> 00:30:01,249 The psychologists argue 310 00:30:01,250 --> 00:30:05,875 I put up a mental block on all my senses. I disagree. 311 00:30:11,541 --> 00:30:14,000 I can't feel anymore. 312 00:30:23,250 --> 00:30:26,208 First I must feel. 313 00:30:28,291 --> 00:30:31,207 Then I'll set you free. 314 00:30:31,208 --> 00:30:33,041 To feel is to be human. 315 00:30:34,541 --> 00:30:39,250 Help me feel. Help me be. 316 00:30:57,375 --> 00:31:01,290 Oh yes, I taste it. The anticipation of my strike. 317 00:31:01,291 --> 00:31:03,957 Stings your nerves and contract your muscles. 318 00:31:18,416 --> 00:31:21,666 Exactly what I needed. 319 00:31:25,583 --> 00:31:27,250 Ah, but I don't wanna be selfish. 320 00:31:31,041 --> 00:31:33,000 Let me give you pleasure too. 321 00:31:42,583 --> 00:31:45,958 Stop. I'm married. 322 00:31:47,708 --> 00:31:49,624 She's not gonna find out. 323 00:31:49,625 --> 00:31:52,000 I always dispose of the bodies properly. 324 00:31:55,291 --> 00:31:56,666 Oh, here we go. 325 00:31:58,541 --> 00:32:01,124 I knew you'd enjoy it. 326 00:32:09,125 --> 00:32:14,040 I'll tell you what, if you don't cum, I won't kill 327 00:32:14,041 --> 00:32:15,665 your wife. 328 00:32:52,875 --> 00:32:55,458 Just kidding. I already killed her. 329 00:32:57,666 --> 00:32:59,541 Her torment was euphoria. 330 00:33:00,875 --> 00:33:03,166 She screamed out for you. 331 00:33:04,666 --> 00:33:06,208 Until I cut out her tongue. 332 00:33:07,875 --> 00:33:10,832 That silenced the little ginger bitch. 333 00:33:10,833 --> 00:33:12,749 I don't believe you. 334 00:33:12,750 --> 00:33:14,333 You don't believe me. 335 00:33:15,500 --> 00:33:16,666 I don't believe you. 336 00:33:30,333 --> 00:33:31,666 I cut it out. 337 00:33:33,833 --> 00:33:36,083 That little tattoo on her right hip. 338 00:33:38,833 --> 00:33:43,291 Look at it Charles. So cute. 339 00:33:45,958 --> 00:33:47,750 Wish I had soft skin for a tattoo. 340 00:33:53,500 --> 00:33:57,333 Oops. 341 00:33:59,833 --> 00:34:03,250 I'm sorry Claire. 342 00:34:33,833 --> 00:34:36,874 My skin is crawling. 343 00:34:36,875 --> 00:34:41,624 Thank you. My sweet pet. 344 00:34:41,625 --> 00:34:45,208 The pleasure will endure. 345 00:34:54,666 --> 00:34:56,250 Cut me again. 346 00:35:15,958 --> 00:35:17,708 To feel is to be human. 347 00:35:38,833 --> 00:35:41,291 To feel is to be human. 348 00:35:52,208 --> 00:35:54,208 To feel is to be human. 349 00:37:29,916 --> 00:37:31,750 No, not fair. 350 00:37:49,500 --> 00:37:52,415 You know, I had this calico cat 351 00:37:52,416 --> 00:37:55,333 named Ghost as a child. 352 00:37:57,833 --> 00:38:00,000 She was a present from my parents when I was 10. 353 00:38:03,041 --> 00:38:06,041 I think they wanted to teach me responsibility. 354 00:38:09,458 --> 00:38:12,040 Ghost like to hide and wait for the perfect moment 355 00:38:12,041 --> 00:38:14,540 to jump out and scare me. 356 00:38:14,541 --> 00:38:16,791 And then I'd playfully chase her back. 357 00:38:20,125 --> 00:38:21,458 I loved that cat. 358 00:38:27,458 --> 00:38:29,833 And then when I was 17, I got this beater car, 359 00:38:31,833 --> 00:38:33,416 so excited 360 00:38:36,541 --> 00:38:38,833 and backing it out of the driveway for the first time 361 00:38:40,500 --> 00:38:41,541 I ran over ghost. 362 00:38:45,000 --> 00:38:47,541 I could feel her squish under the tire. 363 00:38:48,625 --> 00:38:51,333 Her little bones crunch. 364 00:38:53,458 --> 00:38:57,124 She let out this screeching meow. 365 00:38:57,125 --> 00:39:01,708 It stung my heart. 366 00:39:04,875 --> 00:39:06,165 And I knew right away what I've done. 367 00:39:06,166 --> 00:39:08,125 I, I dashed to my pet. 368 00:39:11,000 --> 00:39:12,625 She'd been hiding. 369 00:39:16,833 --> 00:39:20,624 And breathing her last breaths I could sense 370 00:39:20,625 --> 00:39:23,375 she wanted to tell me something thing. 371 00:39:24,958 --> 00:39:27,540 So I leaned in. 372 00:39:27,541 --> 00:39:30,750 Her majestic eyes stared back. 373 00:39:34,583 --> 00:39:37,499 Do you want to know what the eyes of my 374 00:39:37,500 --> 00:39:39,791 beloved childhood cat told me? 375 00:39:41,291 --> 00:39:45,665 Tell me my sweet pet. 376 00:39:45,666 --> 00:39:47,457 "Go fuck yourself! 377 00:39:47,458 --> 00:39:49,749 You ran over me with a car!" 378 00:40:11,916 --> 00:40:13,500 You win. 379 00:41:58,791 --> 00:42:02,665 My husband's dying words were 380 00:42:02,666 --> 00:42:06,291 fuck you in your mouth. 381 00:42:08,291 --> 00:42:13,207 He gave me, he gave me 382 00:42:13,208 --> 00:42:16,791 the courage to escape her. 383 00:42:20,875 --> 00:42:24,124 But every minute awake 384 00:42:24,125 --> 00:42:28,124 and asleep, I dream 385 00:42:28,125 --> 00:42:29,625 of killing her. 386 00:42:31,208 --> 00:42:34,665 Not for vengeance, though. 387 00:42:34,666 --> 00:42:38,040 I fear she'll find me again and 388 00:42:38,041 --> 00:42:42,583 place me back in the dark. 389 00:42:52,166 --> 00:42:54,708 Why didn't you kill her when you escaped? 390 00:43:07,166 --> 00:43:09,750 There was a type of guard, 391 00:43:12,125 --> 00:43:16,957 someone like us converted into 392 00:43:16,958 --> 00:43:20,083 one of her obedient 393 00:43:22,416 --> 00:43:24,083 lit, little pets. 394 00:43:27,375 --> 00:43:30,041 Had to go through him to escape. 395 00:43:32,208 --> 00:43:33,791 I waited for her. 396 00:43:37,041 --> 00:43:39,415 She never came back. 397 00:43:39,416 --> 00:43:41,040 I heard about that last year? Yeah. 398 00:43:41,041 --> 00:43:43,708 The police found all those chained up gimps! 399 00:43:46,750 --> 00:43:50,040 I wouldn't have been able 400 00:43:50,041 --> 00:43:52,416 to face her then. 401 00:43:54,125 --> 00:43:56,083 I would've been 402 00:43:59,166 --> 00:44:01,083 crippled in terror. 403 00:44:03,333 --> 00:44:07,958 She still has a power over me. I know that. 404 00:44:09,833 --> 00:44:12,375 I'm just, I'm ready 405 00:44:14,208 --> 00:44:15,333 to take it back. 406 00:44:21,333 --> 00:44:25,332 Your secrets are 407 00:44:25,333 --> 00:44:27,708 safe with me. 408 00:44:40,000 --> 00:44:43,999 Dev, I think you reserve the right 409 00:44:44,000 --> 00:44:46,083 to share next. 410 00:44:54,166 --> 00:44:55,790 My incident happened 411 00:44:55,791 --> 00:45:00,207 because I had a friend who cried out for help, 412 00:45:00,208 --> 00:45:03,291 but I wasn't listening. 413 00:45:07,833 --> 00:45:10,124 It wasn't her first attempt. 414 00:45:10,125 --> 00:45:11,916 I...I didn't hear her until she was screaming. 415 00:45:18,166 --> 00:45:20,415 We tried to make up for it, 416 00:45:20,416 --> 00:45:25,125 but ended up in a horrible place. 417 00:45:27,208 --> 00:45:28,916 At the wrong time. 418 00:45:34,208 --> 00:45:36,165 I can't remember the last time it was just 419 00:45:36,166 --> 00:45:37,249 the three of us. 420 00:45:37,250 --> 00:45:38,375 It's like old times. 421 00:45:39,916 --> 00:45:42,374 I'm just happy you dumped Chelsea. 422 00:45:42,375 --> 00:45:44,540 Usually the fourth wheel's a good thing. 423 00:45:44,541 --> 00:45:46,332 But she was a flat tire. 424 00:45:46,333 --> 00:45:49,207 - She wasn't that bad dude. - She was pretty bad. 425 00:45:49,208 --> 00:45:51,790 - Chelsea was fun. - She lost your dog. 426 00:45:51,791 --> 00:45:53,082 And she blamed it on Dev. 427 00:45:53,083 --> 00:45:53,999 Is that true? 428 00:45:54,000 --> 00:45:55,332 Yeah. 429 00:45:55,333 --> 00:45:58,165 Okay. In that case, Chelsea sucked. 430 00:45:58,166 --> 00:46:01,874 But she was hot. And you said she was hot. 431 00:46:01,875 --> 00:46:03,374 So that kind of balances her out a little bit. 432 00:46:03,375 --> 00:46:04,499 For you. 433 00:46:04,500 --> 00:46:06,457 For us she was just a bitch. 434 00:46:06,458 --> 00:46:07,374 You can do better Lane. 435 00:46:07,375 --> 00:46:08,875 Thank you Pam. 436 00:46:12,000 --> 00:46:15,290 I, I need to hydrate. - What now princess? 437 00:46:15,291 --> 00:46:17,249 Of course, you brought sparkling water. 438 00:46:17,250 --> 00:46:19,957 I didn't realize this excursion was timed. 439 00:46:19,958 --> 00:46:21,457 Thought we were on a hike. Not a frolic. 440 00:46:21,458 --> 00:46:22,499 I have weak ankles. 441 00:46:22,500 --> 00:46:24,124 Should have brought milk. 442 00:46:24,125 --> 00:46:25,332 I don't like the viscosity of milk. 443 00:46:25,333 --> 00:46:26,499 Plus milk outs... 444 00:46:26,500 --> 00:46:28,541 I should have come by myself! 445 00:46:31,958 --> 00:46:33,000 Fuck. 446 00:47:02,166 --> 00:47:05,332 You guys hear that? Is it an animal? 447 00:47:05,333 --> 00:47:08,124 We're in the woods. Nature tends to have animals. 448 00:47:08,125 --> 00:47:10,999 Could be a squirrel, deer, hare, fox... 449 00:47:11,000 --> 00:47:12,250 Could you shut up for a minute? 450 00:47:16,666 --> 00:47:19,958 - Is that music? - I hear something too. 451 00:47:27,625 --> 00:47:29,499 Definitely music. Maybe. 452 00:47:29,500 --> 00:47:30,540 Sounds classical. 453 00:47:30,541 --> 00:47:32,207 Sounds like it. 454 00:47:32,208 --> 00:47:33,999 Maybe they can join your band Lane. 455 00:47:34,000 --> 00:47:36,249 Not in a band, dick! 456 00:47:36,250 --> 00:47:37,957 You know, Mint broke up in seventh grade. 457 00:47:37,958 --> 00:47:39,332 I don't like to talk about it. 458 00:47:39,333 --> 00:47:41,041 And you still haven't joined a new one? 459 00:47:42,791 --> 00:47:45,000 Eat a dick. Both of you. 460 00:47:48,791 --> 00:47:49,875 It's coming from over there. 461 00:47:51,083 --> 00:47:52,125 Yeah. 462 00:47:53,541 --> 00:47:55,332 No, no, no, no. We're not going over there. 463 00:47:55,333 --> 00:47:56,957 Let's stick to the path. 464 00:47:56,958 --> 00:47:58,624 I agree with the pea brain. 465 00:47:58,625 --> 00:48:01,540 This is a chance for an adventure. 466 00:48:01,541 --> 00:48:03,125 Looks like a chance for ticks. 467 00:48:04,333 --> 00:48:05,707 I need this. 468 00:48:05,708 --> 00:48:08,249 I know why you guys agreed to come up here. 469 00:48:08,250 --> 00:48:10,249 You both hate hiking. 470 00:48:10,250 --> 00:48:11,457 No we don't. 471 00:48:13,625 --> 00:48:15,916 You're gonna pity me, then I'm gonna use it. 472 00:48:18,125 --> 00:48:19,540 Did you really just play the guilt trip card 473 00:48:19,541 --> 00:48:21,624 on your best friend? 474 00:48:21,625 --> 00:48:23,207 Not very subtle. 475 00:48:23,208 --> 00:48:25,332 And you are a distant second BFF. 476 00:48:25,333 --> 00:48:26,457 Bullshit. 477 00:48:26,458 --> 00:48:28,332 Consider my card played. 478 00:48:28,333 --> 00:48:30,582 Noted. But you're bear food first princess. 479 00:48:30,583 --> 00:48:32,250 How chivalrous! 480 00:48:33,375 --> 00:48:34,416 Shit! 481 00:48:35,541 --> 00:48:37,290 Instant karma. 482 00:48:37,291 --> 00:48:39,999 I don't think you comprehend that concept completely. 483 00:48:40,000 --> 00:48:42,499 God, what is in your bag? No wonder your slow. 484 00:48:42,500 --> 00:48:43,832 Just the essentials. 485 00:48:43,833 --> 00:48:46,290 It's a five hour hike. Round trip. 486 00:48:46,291 --> 00:48:49,083 You never know. I got snacks. 487 00:49:55,791 --> 00:49:56,833 Wow. 488 00:50:02,375 --> 00:50:07,249 - It's a violin. - Hillbillies. 489 00:50:07,250 --> 00:50:10,624 Hillbillies play the banjo and live in West Virginia. 490 00:50:10,625 --> 00:50:12,166 Mountainbillies? 491 00:50:15,500 --> 00:50:17,500 There's a stone house up there. 492 00:50:18,541 --> 00:50:19,540 Shit. 493 00:50:53,916 --> 00:50:57,583 Hey, we heard your music. 494 00:51:03,416 --> 00:51:07,624 Is that an original piece? 495 00:51:07,625 --> 00:51:10,125 I...I don't think he heard you. 496 00:51:11,583 --> 00:51:13,333 I think he's deaf. 497 00:51:57,333 --> 00:51:59,125 That was beautiful. 498 00:52:35,666 --> 00:52:37,208 What's your name? 499 00:52:43,625 --> 00:52:45,583 Fuck! Sorry man. 500 00:52:49,375 --> 00:52:50,416 Lane. 501 00:52:58,375 --> 00:53:00,208 Yo, back the fuck up, dude. 502 00:53:02,458 --> 00:53:03,500 Lane. 503 00:54:04,916 --> 00:54:07,416 Dev! Dev! 504 00:54:11,958 --> 00:54:13,540 Stop! 505 00:54:13,541 --> 00:54:14,582 Let go! 506 00:54:14,583 --> 00:54:15,499 Don't touch me! 507 00:54:15,500 --> 00:54:16,415 Stop please! 508 00:54:16,416 --> 00:54:17,665 Let me go. 509 00:54:17,666 --> 00:54:18,707 We're running in the wrong direction. 510 00:54:18,708 --> 00:54:20,415 I don't care. 511 00:54:20,416 --> 00:54:21,874 We're going to get lost if we aren't already. 512 00:54:21,875 --> 00:54:26,874 He cut his throat open Pam! Pam, why? 513 00:54:26,875 --> 00:54:29,332 Why'd he do that? Why? 514 00:54:29,333 --> 00:54:30,249 I know. 515 00:54:30,250 --> 00:54:31,582 Lane's dead. 516 00:54:31,583 --> 00:54:34,332 I know, but if we don't go back 517 00:54:34,333 --> 00:54:37,749 and find a path, we are going to die in these woods. 518 00:54:37,750 --> 00:54:39,665 I can't. I can't. 519 00:54:39,666 --> 00:54:41,499 You wanna be alone in these woods with that man at night? 520 00:54:41,500 --> 00:54:42,415 I get it. 521 00:54:42,416 --> 00:54:43,999 Okay. 522 00:54:44,000 --> 00:54:47,916 And then we go back together. 523 00:54:58,083 --> 00:55:02,875 Lane brought a knife. We protect each other. 524 00:55:10,166 --> 00:55:12,333 We protect each other. 525 00:55:25,041 --> 00:55:29,375 Remember, if he comes at us, we take him together. 526 00:55:32,125 --> 00:55:32,957 Something happened. 527 00:55:32,958 --> 00:55:34,665 Don't think... 528 00:55:34,666 --> 00:55:38,957 I've been a bad friend. I wasn't there for you. 529 00:55:38,958 --> 00:55:41,665 I'm so sorry. You have to do that to get our attention. 530 00:55:41,666 --> 00:55:42,957 I, I should have, I should have. 531 00:55:42,958 --> 00:55:44,082 Listen. Listen. 532 00:55:44,083 --> 00:55:45,375 I should have. 533 00:55:46,541 --> 00:55:48,458 I don't wanna die anymore. 534 00:55:49,708 --> 00:55:50,750 Okay? 535 00:56:04,666 --> 00:56:05,999 He's really dead. 536 00:56:06,000 --> 00:56:08,541 Watch. I'll grab the knife. 537 00:56:14,750 --> 00:56:17,458 Okay. Okay. 538 00:56:20,041 --> 00:56:21,082 Lane. 539 00:56:21,083 --> 00:56:22,790 Have you got the knife yet? 540 00:56:22,791 --> 00:56:24,207 Fuck. 541 00:56:24,208 --> 00:56:25,458 Hurry. 542 00:56:28,041 --> 00:56:29,124 Got it. 543 00:56:29,125 --> 00:56:30,082 I should have been nicer. 544 00:56:30,083 --> 00:56:30,999 Come on. 545 00:56:31,000 --> 00:56:31,915 I should have been nicer. 546 00:56:31,916 --> 00:56:32,957 Focus Dev. 547 00:56:32,958 --> 00:56:34,083 Look the path! 548 00:57:08,041 --> 00:57:09,083 Wake up. 549 00:57:11,125 --> 00:57:12,166 Dev, wake up! 550 00:57:14,625 --> 00:57:15,666 Wake up. 551 00:57:17,666 --> 00:57:20,125 Dev. 552 00:57:31,333 --> 00:57:33,124 Please, I don't wanna die. 553 00:57:38,791 --> 00:57:40,290 Why are you doing this? 554 00:57:45,791 --> 00:57:47,625 Dev. 555 00:57:51,166 --> 00:57:51,999 Dev go! 556 00:57:52,000 --> 00:57:52,957 Agh! 557 00:58:02,916 --> 00:58:03,958 Dev. 558 00:58:06,083 --> 00:58:06,999 Dev, don't leave me. 559 00:58:12,166 --> 00:58:13,208 Dev, please. 560 00:58:15,416 --> 00:58:16,708 Don't leave. 561 00:58:22,291 --> 00:58:24,041 Dev, you're my best friend. 562 00:58:31,083 --> 00:58:32,125 Please Dev! 563 00:58:33,208 --> 00:58:36,665 I'm sorry Pam. I'm sorry. 564 00:58:36,666 --> 00:58:39,082 No Dev. 565 00:58:39,083 --> 00:58:41,125 I'm sorry Pam. I'm sorry. 566 00:58:42,166 --> 00:58:43,833 Please no! 567 00:58:44,875 --> 00:58:46,541 I'm sorry! 568 00:59:09,458 --> 00:59:12,290 Certain music I can't listen to. 569 00:59:12,291 --> 00:59:14,332 It's why I have these. 570 00:59:14,333 --> 00:59:17,165 I have a seizure or worse. 571 00:59:17,166 --> 00:59:19,875 Enter into a fugue state and blackout. 572 00:59:21,458 --> 00:59:23,790 Last time I came to, I was 573 00:59:23,791 --> 00:59:25,832 running down the middle of the street. 574 00:59:25,833 --> 00:59:28,790 No shoes. Never found them. 575 00:59:28,791 --> 00:59:31,374 Don't know why they were missing. 576 00:59:31,375 --> 00:59:34,708 That was four miles from home. 577 00:59:37,875 --> 00:59:41,915 Always four miles from home. 578 00:59:41,916 --> 00:59:43,958 And the few times 579 00:59:46,875 --> 00:59:50,125 I hear the bow hit the strings 580 00:59:56,083 --> 00:59:59,000 and then I hurt someone 581 01:00:01,458 --> 01:00:04,625 that doesn't deserve it. 582 01:00:06,333 --> 01:00:07,665 And I realize what I've done 583 01:00:07,666 --> 01:00:09,750 of course I run. 584 01:00:12,208 --> 01:00:17,000 Fight or flight, flight that's me. 585 01:00:19,000 --> 01:00:21,166 A candy ass who left his friends to die! 586 01:00:35,416 --> 01:00:38,291 Dr. Hedonia found me when I was on 51-50 watch. 587 01:00:41,791 --> 01:00:44,165 That's why I'm here. 588 01:00:44,166 --> 01:00:46,166 There are several ways to snap. 589 01:00:49,166 --> 01:00:52,416 No shame in one over another. 590 01:00:54,041 --> 01:00:58,708 Hell, you're not a pyro and at least you got your tongue. 591 01:01:00,583 --> 01:01:01,875 The worst part, 592 01:01:04,458 --> 01:01:06,790 the police never recovered their bodies 593 01:01:06,791 --> 01:01:09,125 or found any substantial evidence. 594 01:01:12,041 --> 01:01:13,416 He's still out there. 595 01:01:15,000 --> 01:01:18,666 Did the violinist ever speak? 596 01:01:24,041 --> 01:01:28,790 As you see, it's not just 597 01:01:28,791 --> 01:01:32,999 deep trauma that you all share. 598 01:01:33,000 --> 01:01:36,125 It's uncertainty and lack of closure. 599 01:01:37,583 --> 01:01:39,083 You are not alone. 600 01:01:40,375 --> 01:01:42,124 This next part 601 01:01:42,125 --> 01:01:45,958 and feeling is no different than an A.A. meeting. 602 01:01:47,333 --> 01:01:48,790 Yeah. 603 01:01:48,791 --> 01:01:52,082 Well, I really could use a drink 604 01:01:52,083 --> 01:01:56,708 after Forrest Gump and the mute's story. 605 01:02:00,583 --> 01:02:05,207 Hey, little bit 606 01:02:05,208 --> 01:02:08,750 of medicine helps the demons go down. 607 01:02:11,500 --> 01:02:13,082 Wow! 608 01:02:13,083 --> 01:02:17,832 I do not condone drinking during group. 609 01:02:17,833 --> 01:02:22,415 We're bonding doc. All right, take it easy. 610 01:02:22,416 --> 01:02:24,374 Here marshmallow, take a swig. 611 01:02:24,375 --> 01:02:26,291 That'll keep you from running. 612 01:02:35,583 --> 01:02:37,916 Let's take a five minute break. Hmm. 613 01:02:39,916 --> 01:02:41,791 Bathrooms are in the lobby. 614 01:03:36,333 --> 01:03:37,916 Do you mind? 615 01:04:08,750 --> 01:04:10,208 Moon is out. 616 01:04:20,250 --> 01:04:22,916 There's a dark truth in that room. 617 01:04:27,291 --> 01:04:29,291 It's refreshing. 618 01:04:35,250 --> 01:04:36,916 We're like wolves. 619 01:04:40,041 --> 01:04:44,625 Either we'll eat each other alive or we'll become a clan. 620 01:04:52,583 --> 01:04:53,916 Perhaps. 621 01:04:58,666 --> 01:05:00,332 Hearing everyone's story 622 01:05:00,333 --> 01:05:03,583 I have a feeling the worst was left for last. 623 01:05:10,416 --> 01:05:12,000 And then there were two. 624 01:05:16,208 --> 01:05:18,624 In the land of the monsters, 625 01:05:18,625 --> 01:05:22,916 who is king or queen? 626 01:05:41,416 --> 01:05:46,041 The real monsters are the ones who hide it. 627 01:06:02,291 --> 01:06:04,250 What are you writing? 628 01:06:38,375 --> 01:06:43,166 I used to be afraid like you. 629 01:06:44,666 --> 01:06:46,250 Even worse, 630 01:06:49,833 --> 01:06:52,790 I was terrified 631 01:06:52,791 --> 01:06:57,000 to breathe too loud. 632 01:06:59,375 --> 01:07:01,041 Want to know the secret? 633 01:07:02,916 --> 01:07:04,583 I can't go on like this. 634 01:07:14,291 --> 01:07:17,416 Always be ready. 635 01:07:20,333 --> 01:07:22,290 I can't kill anyone. 636 01:07:22,291 --> 01:07:25,208 Yes, you can. 637 01:07:27,875 --> 01:07:29,666 It's in all of us. 638 01:07:31,208 --> 01:07:34,041 And I don't guilt you for running, 639 01:07:36,541 --> 01:07:39,540 but you may not have a choice 640 01:07:39,541 --> 01:07:40,708 next time. 641 01:07:42,750 --> 01:07:44,166 Next time? 642 01:07:47,333 --> 01:07:52,083 One way, our demons will come for us again. 643 01:07:53,458 --> 01:07:56,125 And that at least I know. 644 01:08:03,000 --> 01:08:05,166 There are five main lines. 645 01:08:07,583 --> 01:08:11,165 And it's about how they cross, 646 01:08:11,166 --> 01:08:14,166 how they combine at the right event, the right persons, 647 01:08:17,458 --> 01:08:20,125 and the perfect timing. 648 01:08:29,000 --> 01:08:31,666 Do the stars lineup? 649 01:08:40,041 --> 01:08:43,375 We'll find out soon enough. 650 01:08:52,625 --> 01:08:54,291 Don't trust them. 651 01:09:51,916 --> 01:09:53,750 Will you stop it? 652 01:09:59,708 --> 01:10:02,332 You think we're her craziest group? 653 01:10:02,333 --> 01:10:05,957 Wait, there are other groups? 654 01:10:05,958 --> 01:10:09,665 Hell, I just wanna know what she does back there. 655 01:10:09,666 --> 01:10:11,625 She writes notes on how mental we are. 656 01:10:15,000 --> 01:10:18,333 Lenny, what scares you about having possessions? 657 01:10:20,375 --> 01:10:24,624 I guess I'm afraid 658 01:10:24,625 --> 01:10:26,332 of losing everything. 659 01:10:26,333 --> 01:10:28,125 You know, again. 660 01:10:29,583 --> 01:10:32,665 Would you extend that to personal connections? 661 01:10:32,666 --> 01:10:36,291 Sure. I don't trust people. 662 01:10:38,000 --> 01:10:39,582 You expressed to me 663 01:10:39,583 --> 01:10:43,875 before that your relationships are superficial. 664 01:10:45,500 --> 01:10:46,666 They lack history. 665 01:10:48,625 --> 01:10:52,040 Before you can have a relationship with others, 666 01:10:52,041 --> 01:10:56,333 you need to have a healthy one with yourself. 667 01:10:58,750 --> 01:11:01,541 Tell the group who you lost in the fire Lenny. 668 01:11:06,625 --> 01:11:07,916 No. 669 01:11:26,916 --> 01:11:28,750 Stay with the emotion, but stay in your seat. 670 01:11:41,791 --> 01:11:44,958 I didn't lose anyone. 671 01:11:48,833 --> 01:11:50,375 I lived alone. 672 01:11:59,041 --> 01:12:00,708 Who did you lose Lenny? 673 01:12:07,000 --> 01:12:10,082 I don't want to do this. 674 01:12:10,083 --> 01:12:13,750 Underneath the rage is pain. Identify it. 675 01:12:14,750 --> 01:12:17,040 This is the lost path back. 676 01:12:17,041 --> 01:12:18,165 Shut up! 677 01:12:18,166 --> 01:12:20,416 Stay with me. Don't run. 678 01:12:24,250 --> 01:12:26,291 I'm not like that bitch Dev! 679 01:12:28,791 --> 01:12:33,333 I like who I am! I don't want to remember. 680 01:12:35,750 --> 01:12:38,749 I like who you are too Lenny. 681 01:12:38,750 --> 01:12:40,624 It's only a dissociative disorder 682 01:12:40,625 --> 01:12:42,416 if the current state is undesired. 683 01:12:45,083 --> 01:12:48,458 Stop staring at me. 684 01:12:50,500 --> 01:12:55,125 Step over the edge. No one here is going to hurt you. 685 01:12:58,208 --> 01:13:01,540 I can't trust these fucking freaks. 686 01:13:01,541 --> 01:13:05,500 Okay, that's a fair expression to the group. 687 01:13:06,750 --> 01:13:10,458 Rip this scab off man. 688 01:13:14,166 --> 01:13:17,916 I don't remember who I was 689 01:13:21,000 --> 01:13:22,041 before the fire. 690 01:13:22,833 --> 01:13:24,749 Like amnesia. 691 01:13:24,750 --> 01:13:29,249 Most triggers that could jog Lenny's memory 692 01:13:29,250 --> 01:13:32,165 were lost in his house fire. 693 01:13:32,166 --> 01:13:36,790 Lenny suffers from selective dissociative amnesia. 694 01:13:36,791 --> 01:13:41,540 Specifically memories linked to his core identity 695 01:13:41,541 --> 01:13:44,916 that were eclipsed by his trauma. 696 01:13:46,708 --> 01:13:48,583 You don't remember anything about yourself. 697 01:13:50,291 --> 01:13:53,583 The foundation is there, 698 01:13:56,333 --> 01:14:00,666 but nothing that makes a house a home. 699 01:14:04,333 --> 01:14:09,707 Lenny was very brave, but let's give him a moment. 700 01:14:09,708 --> 01:14:13,207 I know you all can relate to his struggle. 701 01:14:13,208 --> 01:14:16,249 Someone, something has been stripped 702 01:14:16,250 --> 01:14:18,541 away from your identities. 703 01:14:19,583 --> 01:14:21,832 Let's not address it as 704 01:14:21,833 --> 01:14:24,290 a positive or negative attribute. 705 01:14:24,291 --> 01:14:26,083 Instead, 706 01:14:27,291 --> 01:14:30,207 understand your identities 707 01:14:30,208 --> 01:14:34,874 lack the tools to deal with the new self. 708 01:14:34,875 --> 01:14:37,665 We're here to acquire those tools 709 01:14:37,666 --> 01:14:41,000 and to direct that metamorphosis. 710 01:14:42,250 --> 01:14:45,665 For Oday's case 711 01:14:45,666 --> 01:14:48,208 it was a very deranged transformation. 712 01:15:01,791 --> 01:15:06,125 I can see why Dr. Hedonia brought us together. 713 01:15:13,708 --> 01:15:16,500 I was also captured, 714 01:15:22,875 --> 01:15:24,666 but I was alone. 715 01:16:07,708 --> 01:16:11,291 I always took a nap on the way home from work. 716 01:16:14,208 --> 01:16:15,791 Someone took notice. 717 01:17:12,458 --> 01:17:13,583 Hey! 718 01:17:15,791 --> 01:17:17,249 Hey! 719 01:17:17,250 --> 01:17:18,791 Can you hear me? 720 01:17:20,958 --> 01:17:22,666 The first day of my capture, 721 01:17:24,333 --> 01:17:28,165 I howled screams, upon screams, upon screams. 722 01:17:28,166 --> 01:17:29,291 [Yells÷} 723 01:17:30,500 --> 01:17:33,415 Until my voice unheard, faded. 724 01:17:33,416 --> 01:17:34,791 Help! 725 01:17:37,000 --> 01:17:38,750 Muzzling even my mind. 726 01:17:58,500 --> 01:17:59,541 Hey! 727 01:18:01,916 --> 01:18:02,958 Hey! 728 01:18:04,458 --> 01:18:06,333 Help! 729 01:19:16,083 --> 01:19:20,791 Each day the well felt deeper, 730 01:19:23,541 --> 01:19:25,415 the sky 731 01:19:25,416 --> 01:19:26,916 farther away. 732 01:19:28,208 --> 01:19:32,165 All your left is a denominator 733 01:19:32,166 --> 01:19:33,791 of thoughts 734 01:19:35,000 --> 01:19:37,332 and waiting. 735 01:20:54,083 --> 01:20:55,875 Please, please, 736 01:20:57,375 --> 01:20:59,041 you can't keep me in here. 737 01:21:01,083 --> 01:21:02,166 I have a family. 738 01:21:08,458 --> 01:21:12,416 Oday's Repetition breaks the spirit. 739 01:21:13,583 --> 01:21:15,541 Drains the mind. 740 01:21:17,041 --> 01:21:20,290 Molds it in its liking. 741 01:21:20,291 --> 01:21:22,040 I must escape. 742 01:21:22,041 --> 01:21:25,583 You're mocking me! I can hear your whispers. 743 01:21:27,208 --> 01:21:29,375 I can hear your secrets. 744 01:21:34,625 --> 01:21:38,958 It's then when the desire for the pattern 745 01:21:40,541 --> 01:21:44,082 becomes its greatest. 746 01:21:46,250 --> 01:21:47,999 Oday's Don't let him control you. 747 01:21:48,000 --> 01:21:49,457 Don't let him control you. 748 01:21:49,458 --> 01:21:50,583 Hey! 749 01:21:52,250 --> 01:21:53,290 Show yourself. 750 01:21:53,291 --> 01:21:55,665 You fucking cowards! 751 01:21:55,666 --> 01:21:57,374 Yeah, I'll come up there 752 01:21:57,375 --> 01:22:00,999 and throw you down here and rip those arms off. 753 01:22:01,000 --> 01:22:04,332 Yeah. And ring the bell on you! 754 01:22:25,458 --> 01:22:28,000 After that, the water continued, 755 01:22:29,125 --> 01:22:31,125 but not the food. 756 01:22:32,416 --> 01:22:37,166 Instead came the hunger. 757 01:22:48,458 --> 01:22:50,041 I'm not your anim... 758 01:22:51,291 --> 01:22:53,375 I'm not your animal! 759 01:22:59,333 --> 01:23:00,457 I'm not hungry. 760 01:23:02,291 --> 01:23:05,082 I'm not cold. 761 01:23:05,083 --> 01:23:11,082 I'm not hungry. No. 762 01:23:11,083 --> 01:23:12,208 Ah. 763 01:23:13,833 --> 01:23:14,665 Ugh. Ah. 764 01:23:24,666 --> 01:23:25,749 Maybe just a bite. 765 01:23:28,250 --> 01:23:29,291 With ice cream. 766 01:23:30,333 --> 01:23:31,582 With two scoops. 767 01:23:31,583 --> 01:23:32,665 Yeah. 768 01:23:32,666 --> 01:23:35,499 And a steak rare. 769 01:23:35,500 --> 01:23:36,582 No! 770 01:23:37,625 --> 01:23:39,041 Well done. 771 01:24:16,583 --> 01:24:18,708 I was starving. 772 01:24:19,916 --> 01:24:24,208 Yet, I knew what I felt. 773 01:25:21,416 --> 01:25:26,208 The blood crystallized my starvation. 774 01:25:29,250 --> 01:25:33,333 And the moon murmured its 775 01:25:34,666 --> 01:25:36,208 secrets. 776 01:25:40,958 --> 01:25:44,915 There is no escape. 777 01:25:44,916 --> 01:25:49,624 There is only hunger. 778 01:25:58,333 --> 01:26:00,250 No! Take it back. 779 01:26:01,416 --> 01:26:02,625 I don't want it anymore. 780 01:26:03,541 --> 01:26:07,707 Then I felt a stir 781 01:26:07,708 --> 01:26:09,166 in my soul. 782 01:26:10,291 --> 01:26:11,750 I know what you want. 783 01:26:12,833 --> 01:26:16,957 Murky clouds arose. 784 01:26:16,958 --> 01:26:18,458 Their plotting. 785 01:26:20,708 --> 01:26:22,374 Their scheming. 786 01:26:22,375 --> 01:26:25,957 Primordial. As in my own. 787 01:26:25,958 --> 01:26:30,750 So I stood in a vial of soup, 788 01:26:33,750 --> 01:26:36,208 beyond exhaustion. 789 01:26:38,875 --> 01:26:42,875 I succumb to the moon. 790 01:26:48,583 --> 01:26:54,375 My hand ascends 791 01:26:55,750 --> 01:26:59,875 independent of its own. 792 01:27:02,833 --> 01:27:07,166 The rest of me followed 793 01:27:08,250 --> 01:27:10,000 shadow like. 794 01:27:14,958 --> 01:27:17,916 Hunger washing over me. 795 01:27:21,416 --> 01:27:25,665 The blood moon kissing my skin. 796 01:27:27,791 --> 01:27:30,332 I surrendered 797 01:27:30,333 --> 01:27:33,540 with tongue and teeth 798 01:27:33,541 --> 01:27:37,332 beyond the horizon 799 01:27:37,333 --> 01:27:38,875 of humanity. 800 01:28:16,791 --> 01:28:18,333 Let me get this straight. 801 01:28:19,958 --> 01:28:22,791 You ate... 802 01:28:25,041 --> 01:28:27,707 Fuck. 803 01:28:27,708 --> 01:28:30,540 I'm not trying to make any excuses. Okay. 804 01:28:30,541 --> 01:28:34,375 I know what I did, what I've done. 805 01:28:36,500 --> 01:28:40,083 Tell the group what you discovered in the well. 806 01:28:41,541 --> 01:28:44,708 I never let myself get hungry. 807 01:28:46,916 --> 01:28:48,999 That's what causes an urge. 808 01:28:49,000 --> 01:28:50,582 I think I'm gonna be sick. 809 01:28:50,583 --> 01:28:52,458 What does a bleeding moon look like? 810 01:28:53,916 --> 01:28:54,874 Claire! 811 01:28:54,875 --> 01:28:57,124 Huh? She has a name. 812 01:28:57,125 --> 01:29:01,624 How dare you use my name! 813 01:29:01,625 --> 01:29:03,958 That door only leads to more pain. 814 01:29:05,666 --> 01:29:07,916 We are a better path. 815 01:29:10,875 --> 01:29:12,375 I wanted to get my family back. 816 01:29:14,250 --> 01:29:17,125 But the man that came out of that hole was not a husband. 817 01:29:19,083 --> 01:29:20,375 He was not a father. 818 01:29:22,875 --> 01:29:25,541 My wife saw what I became 819 01:29:27,625 --> 01:29:29,458 and she took my kids away. 820 01:29:31,500 --> 01:29:32,583 And I didn't stop her. 821 01:29:34,500 --> 01:29:39,665 Please. I am human. 822 01:29:39,666 --> 01:29:41,832 I don't wanna be a monster anymore. 823 01:29:45,916 --> 01:29:48,500 Claire, It's human to survive. 824 01:29:49,875 --> 01:29:52,375 Oday is not your tormentor, 825 01:29:54,208 --> 01:29:56,500 but he arises the same anger. 826 01:29:57,708 --> 01:29:59,125 We can use that. 827 01:30:05,833 --> 01:30:06,875 Oday. 828 01:30:08,791 --> 01:30:11,458 Are you willing to participate in an exercise? 829 01:30:14,291 --> 01:30:15,875 Yes. 830 01:30:18,333 --> 01:30:20,958 If it'll keep Claire from leaving. Yes. 831 01:30:30,041 --> 01:30:33,040 This is stupid. 832 01:30:33,041 --> 01:30:34,791 It's the meat and potatoes. 833 01:30:36,625 --> 01:30:39,458 If you're not convinced afterwards, you can leave. 834 01:30:48,333 --> 01:30:50,166 Arms folded over your chest. 835 01:30:51,958 --> 01:30:55,165 Spin in three circles for me. 836 01:30:55,166 --> 01:30:56,625 One... 837 01:30:59,291 --> 01:31:00,666 Two... 838 01:31:03,625 --> 01:31:05,665 Three... 839 01:31:07,291 --> 01:31:11,624 Start with a small, lean, gentle. 840 01:31:11,625 --> 01:31:13,250 Get used to everyone's touch. 841 01:31:15,125 --> 01:31:19,583 As Claire falls softly push her onto someone else. 842 01:31:23,708 --> 01:31:26,166 A hypersensitive reaction is normal. 843 01:31:28,291 --> 01:31:29,625 Tell us how you feel. 844 01:31:32,250 --> 01:31:36,040 Um, dizzy. 845 01:31:36,041 --> 01:31:38,083 And beyond the circle? 846 01:31:39,625 --> 01:31:41,915 Exhausted. 847 01:31:41,916 --> 01:31:47,582 Like, like I'm treading water. 848 01:31:47,583 --> 01:31:48,708 All the time. 849 01:31:50,750 --> 01:31:56,249 You're damaged. The world is overwhelming. 850 01:31:56,250 --> 01:31:57,999 And now you have each other. 851 01:31:58,000 --> 01:32:00,708 Understanding is support. 852 01:32:03,416 --> 01:32:06,791 Lean more and undress your fears. 853 01:32:10,291 --> 01:32:11,541 Is that a smile? 854 01:32:14,291 --> 01:32:15,999 How do you feel now? 855 01:32:23,208 --> 01:32:25,749 Huh? Like a... 856 01:32:25,750 --> 01:32:27,625 like a kid. 857 01:32:29,916 --> 01:32:33,749 When we have a good time, we feel safe. 858 01:32:33,750 --> 01:32:37,790 And when we feel safe, our subconscious can surface 859 01:32:37,791 --> 01:32:40,625 and let us digest our pain. 860 01:32:44,458 --> 01:32:46,583 Keep clear up. She trusts us. 861 01:32:50,458 --> 01:32:53,666 There is an impossible wall in front of you. 862 01:32:55,375 --> 01:32:58,958 A goliath momentous burden. 863 01:33:01,041 --> 01:33:04,290 But when you finally set your mind in a new direction, 864 01:33:04,291 --> 01:33:07,082 you'll suddenly see that it is true 865 01:33:07,083 --> 01:33:08,790 and there is a clear path. 866 01:33:08,791 --> 01:33:13,207 No matter the outcome. The horrible weight 867 01:33:13,208 --> 01:33:15,708 becomes light in your heart. 868 01:33:17,291 --> 01:33:22,041 Real clarity. Real clarity. Stop. 869 01:34:06,166 --> 01:34:08,166 I think I'm ready to share. 870 01:34:11,333 --> 01:34:13,166 Wonderful. 871 01:34:14,458 --> 01:34:16,166 That's wonderful. 872 01:34:27,541 --> 01:34:29,666 It's rare I leave my house, 873 01:34:31,916 --> 01:34:36,666 I'm a paranoid agoraphobe. 874 01:34:40,291 --> 01:34:41,958 Though I'd argue my fears have merit. 875 01:34:43,041 --> 01:34:46,832 Coming to this group and seeing 876 01:34:46,833 --> 01:34:48,708 Dr. Hedonia have been steps I thought 877 01:34:52,875 --> 01:34:54,791 I wasn't capable of taking. 878 01:34:58,625 --> 01:35:01,040 I think it's important I tell about the first 879 01:35:01,041 --> 01:35:02,750 time I broke the cycle. 880 01:35:04,541 --> 01:35:07,791 Because I recognize the importance of accepting help. 881 01:35:11,916 --> 01:35:13,957 Alone with my thoughts 882 01:35:13,958 --> 01:35:16,290 I prefer the company of the macabre. 883 01:35:16,291 --> 01:35:18,832 Death is knowing, 884 01:35:18,833 --> 01:35:21,875 promising, comforting. 885 01:35:23,875 --> 01:35:25,208 It is myself that I fear. 886 01:35:28,166 --> 01:35:31,875 The long empty hall, the empty rooms, 887 01:35:33,583 --> 01:35:35,500 the solitude in the dark. 888 01:35:37,208 --> 01:35:41,333 It is the screams unheard. The screams unanswered. 889 01:35:44,083 --> 01:35:46,000 The sound of silence that haunts my mind. 890 01:35:49,000 --> 01:35:52,958 In these quiet hours, the darkest of night. 891 01:35:54,458 --> 01:35:56,458 Unatural thoughts creep through my mind. 892 01:35:59,083 --> 01:36:01,875 Notions slither over my skin, softly. 893 01:36:03,458 --> 01:36:07,291 They're cool, touch, soothing, distracting. 894 01:36:10,125 --> 01:36:14,374 But here alone, my demons are my own. 895 01:36:16,458 --> 01:36:18,082 The nightmare is the same. 896 01:36:19,041 --> 01:36:20,540 A figure approaching. 897 01:36:20,541 --> 01:36:22,000 Let me in. 898 01:36:23,125 --> 01:36:25,457 A knock at the door. 899 01:36:25,458 --> 01:36:27,332 A wrapping at the walls. 900 01:36:29,166 --> 01:36:32,916 A climax of all my senses. 901 01:36:59,208 --> 01:37:00,333 After the incident, I became withdrawn. 902 01:37:01,541 --> 01:37:04,333 Not depressed, but numb. 903 01:37:15,333 --> 01:37:17,083 It starts with a knock. 904 01:37:20,500 --> 01:37:21,833 Always at night. 905 01:37:26,083 --> 01:37:29,500 A peculiar hour for most, but my condition had worsened. 906 01:37:30,750 --> 01:37:32,500 Only nights were manageable. 907 01:37:54,250 --> 01:37:57,000 Take your little pills, fool yourself. 908 01:38:23,416 --> 01:38:24,666 October Saquin? 909 01:38:28,291 --> 01:38:29,333 What's it to you? 910 01:38:31,500 --> 01:38:33,375 I got your package by accident. 911 01:38:35,708 --> 01:38:38,083 I saw the lights on. I meant to come by earlier. 912 01:39:16,791 --> 01:39:18,708 I catch you at a bad time? 913 01:39:20,791 --> 01:39:22,541 It's always a bad time. 914 01:39:28,125 --> 01:39:29,958 Did you call earlier? 915 01:39:32,750 --> 01:39:36,041 I don't have your number. We just met. 916 01:39:39,291 --> 01:39:40,333 Right. 917 01:39:45,791 --> 01:39:47,250 Come in. 918 01:40:08,500 --> 01:40:12,250 Little dark for my taste, but your place is lovely. 919 01:40:21,333 --> 01:40:23,041 You going to open it? 920 01:40:25,791 --> 01:40:26,833 Drink? 921 01:40:29,375 --> 01:40:31,500 Don't really drink that often. 922 01:41:23,500 --> 01:41:27,665 Been hearing weird noises at my place. 923 01:41:27,666 --> 01:41:29,333 Are there wild animals around here at all? 924 01:41:31,500 --> 01:41:35,833 I'm pretty skittish. Probably just my imagination. 925 01:41:39,833 --> 01:41:44,625 If you're quiet enough houses speak. 926 01:41:49,666 --> 01:41:51,416 They have stories to tell. 927 01:41:59,375 --> 01:42:00,416 Boo. 928 01:42:10,375 --> 01:42:11,625 Can I use the ladies' room? 929 01:42:30,750 --> 01:42:34,290 Okay. Make friends Heidi. 930 01:42:34,291 --> 01:42:36,291 Don't be a weirdo. 931 01:42:38,916 --> 01:42:41,541 You are not going to be lonely here. 932 01:42:43,833 --> 01:42:45,916 Get a new start. 933 01:42:47,333 --> 01:42:49,333 New start. 934 01:42:50,875 --> 01:42:52,750 'Cause you're not a loser. 935 01:42:55,083 --> 01:42:57,249 You're not a loser. 936 01:43:50,791 --> 01:43:53,915 I'll come back. Let me in. 937 01:43:56,875 --> 01:43:58,541 Let me in. 938 01:44:11,875 --> 01:44:13,833 Let me in! 939 01:44:22,875 --> 01:44:25,707 Never thought I'd move cross country. 940 01:44:25,708 --> 01:44:29,000 I'm a small town girl. It all happened so quickly. 941 01:44:54,625 --> 01:44:56,583 She's prettier than you. 942 01:45:19,375 --> 01:45:21,458 Cut that little cunt's face. 943 01:45:22,250 --> 01:45:23,999 I'll tell you one thing. 944 01:45:24,000 --> 01:45:26,499 No boyfriends, no distractions. 945 01:45:26,500 --> 01:45:29,082 At least for a couple of months. 946 01:45:29,083 --> 01:45:31,458 Or if he's really cute. 947 01:45:36,708 --> 01:45:38,541 What are you doing with that knife? 948 01:45:46,500 --> 01:45:51,083 I get paranoid too. I thought I heard something. 949 01:45:52,541 --> 01:45:57,375 Oh, do you always keep late hours? 950 01:46:02,125 --> 01:46:04,957 Adults with a acute nocturnal parasomnia can act out 951 01:46:04,958 --> 01:46:07,040 violently in their sleep so, 952 01:46:07,041 --> 01:46:11,000 I have to stay awake until dawn. 953 01:46:12,083 --> 01:46:13,791 That's your neighbor. 954 01:46:23,750 --> 01:46:25,375 I'm bulimic. 955 01:46:30,291 --> 01:46:32,000 To our issues. 956 01:46:35,541 --> 01:46:37,208 Do you wanna stay awake with me? 957 01:46:39,625 --> 01:46:41,291 Are you down to share that pizza? 958 01:46:42,750 --> 01:46:44,374 If you don't throw it up. 959 01:46:55,583 --> 01:46:57,541 I hear sound that aren't there. 960 01:47:00,458 --> 01:47:01,833 I know it isn't real. 961 01:47:03,750 --> 01:47:05,541 But my fear is. 962 01:47:12,291 --> 01:47:13,500 I'm not fat. 963 01:47:17,750 --> 01:47:20,000 But when I look in the mirror, I'm disgusted. 964 01:47:23,000 --> 01:47:25,125 I gag at the first sight of food. 965 01:47:28,250 --> 01:47:30,583 I eat what I want, but I purge it. 966 01:47:33,083 --> 01:47:36,208 My medication keeps my delusions at bay. 967 01:47:38,083 --> 01:47:40,500 The pills are numbing. 968 01:47:44,125 --> 01:47:46,583 It feels borderline suicidal. 969 01:47:53,708 --> 01:47:55,707 I lived with my disorder for three years 970 01:47:55,708 --> 01:47:57,791 before telling anyone. 971 01:48:01,916 --> 01:48:03,541 I live alone, 972 01:48:05,875 --> 01:48:08,208 because my night terrors are incurable. 973 01:48:10,416 --> 01:48:11,958 At some point 974 01:48:13,708 --> 01:48:17,916 looking good became more important than feeling good. 975 01:48:25,166 --> 01:48:26,291 Aren't we a pair? 976 01:48:34,208 --> 01:48:37,249 Fuck everyone. 977 01:48:37,250 --> 01:48:39,083 Fuck everyone. 978 01:48:40,291 --> 01:48:41,332 You can't trust her. 979 01:48:49,333 --> 01:48:51,083 Do you like to dance? 980 01:48:52,958 --> 01:48:55,541 I love to dance. 981 01:48:58,666 --> 01:49:01,666 We should go out. Pick out an album. 982 01:49:58,291 --> 01:50:02,708 We both have demons and mine wait for me to fall asleep. 983 01:50:05,000 --> 01:50:06,625 A chance to take over my mind. 984 01:50:09,375 --> 01:50:11,791 So if you really wanna stay up with me. 985 01:50:28,416 --> 01:50:29,708 They're strong. 986 01:50:31,458 --> 01:50:34,083 I need them to be to leave the house. 987 01:50:41,166 --> 01:50:46,374 It, it's been a while. Isn't everything closing soon? 988 01:50:46,375 --> 01:50:48,333 I know good after hours. 989 01:51:36,250 --> 01:51:38,125 We don't deserve it. 990 01:51:43,041 --> 01:51:45,833 Come on, lets get you in something else. 991 01:53:44,000 --> 01:53:45,041 Heidi. 992 01:53:49,416 --> 01:53:54,041 Oh my God, thank you. Oh, I could drink an ocean. 993 01:54:28,250 --> 01:54:32,207 I must give you the message. 994 01:54:36,333 --> 01:54:37,540 Let me in. 995 01:54:39,750 --> 01:54:41,041 Let me in. 996 01:55:23,541 --> 01:55:24,583 October? 997 01:55:33,791 --> 01:55:35,083 Let me in. 998 01:55:45,500 --> 01:55:47,082 Let me in! 999 01:56:05,166 --> 01:56:07,958 There's a silence that haunts me. 1000 01:56:11,375 --> 01:56:13,208 Thoughts that lurk. 1001 01:56:15,250 --> 01:56:16,583 Biding their time. 1002 01:56:18,333 --> 01:56:23,000 Holding their breath, waiting to strike. 1003 01:56:27,708 --> 01:56:28,750 You're not well. 1004 01:56:30,750 --> 01:56:32,332 Alone in my house 1005 01:56:32,333 --> 01:56:35,166 I can harbor my sickness without hurting others. 1006 01:56:36,750 --> 01:56:38,583 If there's a memory haunting you here, 1007 01:56:40,625 --> 01:56:42,416 you should move away. 1008 01:56:45,583 --> 01:56:46,625 No. 1009 01:56:50,250 --> 01:56:52,041 I need to face my terrors 1010 01:56:54,708 --> 01:56:56,291 to truly know them. 1011 01:57:02,750 --> 01:57:05,041 Then you don't need to do it alone. 1012 01:57:12,666 --> 01:57:14,708 Friends are hard to come by. 1013 01:57:21,208 --> 01:57:23,374 I've never had many girlfriends or 1014 01:57:23,375 --> 01:57:25,457 friends that were genuine. 1015 01:57:27,458 --> 01:57:30,499 Ever walk in on someone talking about you? 1016 01:57:30,500 --> 01:57:32,208 You know, behind your back. 1017 01:57:37,125 --> 01:57:38,707 You worthless slut. 1018 01:57:38,708 --> 01:57:41,250 No one will ever want you for more than fucking. 1019 01:57:49,416 --> 01:57:51,290 Taste the rainbow bitch. 1020 01:57:53,375 --> 01:57:55,457 I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. 1021 01:57:55,458 --> 01:57:59,249 My demons are my own. My Demons are my own. 1022 01:58:36,791 --> 01:58:38,249 Good morning, ma'am. 1023 01:58:38,250 --> 01:58:41,415 What a beautiful sunny day. 1024 01:58:41,416 --> 01:58:44,541 And you look beautiful too if I may say. 1025 01:58:52,833 --> 01:58:57,249 You see, I was chosen to give you this message, 1026 01:58:57,250 --> 01:59:00,166 from our a savior and master. 1027 01:59:03,625 --> 01:59:04,791 No thank you. 1028 01:59:07,000 --> 01:59:08,333 Please take it. 1029 01:59:15,875 --> 01:59:16,916 Let me in. 1030 01:59:22,666 --> 01:59:24,541 I must give you the message. 1031 01:59:25,833 --> 01:59:27,666 For her way is divine. 1032 01:59:28,875 --> 01:59:31,375 Her truth, pleasure. 1033 01:59:33,041 --> 01:59:36,625 Rejoice! I liberate you! 1034 01:59:39,791 --> 01:59:40,833 No! No! 1035 01:59:42,000 --> 01:59:43,041 Please! 1036 01:59:52,875 --> 01:59:54,040 No! 1037 01:59:55,875 --> 01:59:57,582 Please! 1038 01:59:57,583 --> 01:59:58,499 No! 1039 02:00:42,500 --> 02:00:45,291 When your screams are unanswered, 1040 02:00:46,750 --> 02:00:48,000 they're silent. 1041 02:00:49,375 --> 02:00:52,291 October, what do you see? 1042 02:00:56,416 --> 02:00:58,416 Torture. 1043 02:01:01,125 --> 02:01:04,958 You heal, but you never escape. 1044 02:01:09,791 --> 02:01:13,582 No one's there and no one's coming. 1045 02:01:13,583 --> 02:01:15,040 Whatever happened it's in the past. 1046 02:01:15,041 --> 02:01:16,541 I know it can't hurt me! 1047 02:01:17,916 --> 02:01:20,332 Stop torturing yourself. 1048 02:01:20,333 --> 02:01:21,790 Blah, blah, blah. 1049 02:01:21,791 --> 02:01:23,708 You can trust me. 1050 02:01:26,541 --> 02:01:30,375 Som... Somethings wrong. 1051 02:01:36,000 --> 02:01:39,416 - What have you done? - Me? Bitch? You poisoned her. 1052 02:01:41,458 --> 02:01:43,457 She's dead. 1053 02:01:43,458 --> 02:01:44,875 Like the others. 1054 02:01:46,625 --> 02:01:47,875 The others? 1055 02:01:49,458 --> 02:01:51,500 Get rid of of the body. 1056 02:02:34,791 --> 02:02:37,416 Chop that pretty little cunt up into pieces. 1057 02:03:27,958 --> 02:03:31,125 I'm so sorry. 1058 02:03:33,000 --> 02:03:34,582 Damn it. 1059 02:03:34,583 --> 02:03:36,833 I really wanted to watch you chops this one up. 1060 02:03:52,958 --> 02:03:56,583 Sweet little cunt. 1061 02:04:06,708 --> 02:04:09,500 Don't think about telling anyone. 1062 02:04:11,333 --> 02:04:12,875 I'll come back. 1063 02:05:09,333 --> 02:05:11,500 Get rid of the body. 1064 02:07:01,375 --> 02:07:02,875 You fainted. 1065 02:07:06,875 --> 02:07:09,041 It must have been all the dancing. 1066 02:07:11,416 --> 02:07:13,125 Or the drugs. 1067 02:07:31,208 --> 02:07:35,833 Last year someone broke into my home and um... 1068 02:07:42,291 --> 02:07:44,375 That's horrible. 1069 02:07:46,833 --> 02:07:49,041 More than you can imagine. 1070 02:08:04,875 --> 02:08:06,333 Tell me. 1071 02:08:45,000 --> 02:08:47,790 You may live with the horror, 1072 02:08:47,791 --> 02:08:51,208 but you can let go of the pain. 1073 02:08:54,875 --> 02:08:57,958 Break the cycle, October. 1074 02:09:29,208 --> 02:09:30,916 I did. 1075 02:10:23,708 --> 02:10:25,333 Death is boring, 1076 02:10:28,583 --> 02:10:29,625 shallow. 1077 02:10:34,583 --> 02:10:36,500 Now I prefer the torture. 1078 02:10:41,041 --> 02:10:42,958 Her cool touch soothing, 1079 02:10:45,625 --> 02:10:47,583 beautifully distracting. 1080 02:10:51,041 --> 02:10:53,166 I prefer the long empty hall, 1081 02:10:56,750 --> 02:10:58,416 the empty rooms, 1082 02:11:02,666 --> 02:11:04,541 the solitude in the dark. 1083 02:11:11,000 --> 02:11:13,625 The sound of silence that never ends. 1084 02:11:19,208 --> 02:11:21,958 The sound of silence that haunts. 1085 02:11:28,416 --> 02:11:31,041 Suddenly I don't feel crazy. 1086 02:11:32,541 --> 02:11:34,374 And I am? 1087 02:11:34,375 --> 02:11:35,957 We're all in the same boat. 1088 02:11:35,958 --> 02:11:38,333 But you're at the helm. 1089 02:11:45,458 --> 02:11:50,165 You look anxious Dev. Run towards your feelings. 1090 02:11:50,166 --> 02:11:51,499 There's at least two people 1091 02:11:51,500 --> 02:11:53,208 that have killed someone in this room. 1092 02:11:55,250 --> 02:11:57,290 You're god damn animals! 1093 02:11:57,291 --> 02:11:59,624 Whoa. - How can you kill someone? 1094 02:11:59,625 --> 02:12:02,290 She didn't leave her friends to die. 1095 02:12:02,291 --> 02:12:05,082 Shut up! I escaped. 1096 02:12:05,083 --> 02:12:07,124 You're upset. Breathe. 1097 02:12:07,125 --> 02:12:09,999 Their death is not your fault. 1098 02:12:10,000 --> 02:12:11,457 I'm freaking out because 1099 02:12:11,458 --> 02:12:13,249 she chopped someone up with an ax! 1100 02:12:13,250 --> 02:12:16,540 She's crazy! You're all freaking crazy. 1101 02:12:16,541 --> 02:12:21,332 Okay, we're all crazy. I'm crazy. 1102 02:12:21,333 --> 02:12:25,375 The world is crazy and it's full of pain. 1103 02:12:28,333 --> 02:12:31,000 But we are here to navigate through it. 1104 02:12:37,583 --> 02:12:42,416 Your secrets are safe with me... 1105 02:12:43,791 --> 02:12:46,040 October. 1106 02:12:46,041 --> 02:12:48,165 Thank you Claire. 1107 02:12:48,166 --> 02:12:52,082 Everyone's stories are not 1108 02:12:52,083 --> 02:12:54,041 easy pills to swallow. 1109 02:12:56,291 --> 02:13:01,374 Within each you can discover empathy 1110 02:13:01,375 --> 02:13:06,000 because you all share the same level of pain, the same fear. 1111 02:13:08,541 --> 02:13:13,375 Your emotional depth is fathomless. 1112 02:13:14,833 --> 02:13:18,750 Much, much deeper than most. 1113 02:13:21,750 --> 02:13:24,624 The ability to feel 1114 02:13:24,625 --> 02:13:28,750 and not shut yourself off 1115 02:13:32,166 --> 02:13:34,458 is what defines you as human. 1116 02:13:49,791 --> 02:13:54,082 Before we end our session, I would like 1117 02:13:54,083 --> 02:13:58,708 to do one last exercise as a group. 1118 02:14:02,291 --> 02:14:04,333 We attempt to avoid pain, 1119 02:14:06,208 --> 02:14:07,625 but it is a part of life. 1120 02:14:09,708 --> 02:14:13,707 For this exercise, I encourage you 1121 02:14:13,708 --> 02:14:15,541 to embrace it. 1122 02:14:18,875 --> 02:14:20,791 Trauma isn't always purposeless. 1123 02:14:22,958 --> 02:14:25,375 It can be a profound experience. 1124 02:14:37,500 --> 02:14:41,332 For a moment, let's imagine 1125 02:14:41,333 --> 02:14:44,290 you knew who caused your pain. 1126 02:14:53,583 --> 02:14:56,832 The self hatred, the doubt, the rage, the fear, 1127 02:14:56,833 --> 02:14:58,832 the psychosis. 1128 02:14:58,833 --> 02:15:03,250 A face with cold eyes and sharp teeth. 1129 02:15:04,833 --> 02:15:08,457 The monster who sent the man 1130 02:15:08,458 --> 02:15:10,291 to your house October, 1131 02:15:11,625 --> 02:15:16,290 kidnapped you off the subway Oday. 1132 02:15:16,291 --> 02:15:20,415 That there was a puppeteer behind the violinist Dev. 1133 02:15:20,416 --> 02:15:23,332 And that we knew who lit your house on fire Lenny 1134 02:15:23,333 --> 02:15:27,291 and sent you down a destructive path. 1135 02:15:34,875 --> 02:15:36,915 They did these atrocities 1136 02:15:36,916 --> 02:15:40,875 because they knew exactly what would trigger you. 1137 02:15:42,791 --> 02:15:47,582 If that one person stood right in front of all 1138 02:15:47,583 --> 02:15:51,291 of you, what would be the outcome? 1139 02:15:58,500 --> 02:16:04,332 - It wouldn't be pretty. - Pure hate. 1140 02:16:04,333 --> 02:16:07,874 And as a group we would bring them 1141 02:16:07,875 --> 02:16:10,666 endless pain. 1142 02:16:11,958 --> 02:16:13,499 And what if... 1143 02:16:13,500 --> 02:16:16,750 They took pleasure in the pain? 1144 02:16:18,791 --> 02:16:22,957 Yes, Claire, what if pain 1145 02:16:22,958 --> 02:16:25,500 for them is to feel human? 1146 02:16:51,958 --> 02:16:55,500 Now that you've exposed your bare skin to each other, 1147 02:16:57,500 --> 02:16:59,291 I can show you mine. 1148 02:17:37,000 --> 02:17:39,250 You can get out of your seats now. 1149 02:17:51,458 --> 02:17:53,708 Come to me, my pets! 1150 02:18:35,125 --> 02:18:37,624 You're not, you're not full from everything? 1151 02:18:37,625 --> 02:18:38,540 No. 1152 02:18:38,541 --> 02:18:40,374 Yeah. Shut up. 1153 02:18:40,375 --> 02:18:43,541 Hey Claire, are you sure you don't need a ride back? 1154 02:18:45,875 --> 02:18:47,375 I'm okay. 1155 02:18:48,583 --> 02:18:49,999 Positive? 1156 02:18:50,000 --> 02:18:51,125 I need to walk. 1157 02:18:52,250 --> 02:18:54,000 See you in group. 1158 02:19:00,458 --> 02:19:02,041 Latter twat.